The Problem with Sleep Regressions: How Labels Fuel Parental Anxiety
Sleep is one of the most talked-about topics in early parenthood, and for good reason—when a baby isn’t sleeping, neither are their parents. In recent years, the term “sleep regression” has gained traction as a way to describe periods when an infant’s sleep patterns shift, often becoming more disrupted. While this concept was initially meant to reassure parents that sleep disruptions are normal, it has, in many ways, done the opposite. In our practice in Hamilton, Ontario, where we mostly work with perinatal moms and dads, we see this on an almost daily basis. The emphasis on labeling sleep regressions can create undue stress and anxiety for parents, making them feel as if their child’s sleep is broken or abnormal.
The Issue with Labeling Sleep Regressions
The term “sleep regression” suggests that a baby is moving backward in their development, which is misleading. In reality, these shifts in sleep patterns are often a sign of developmental progress. Babies are constantly learning new skills, experiencing growth spurts, and adapting to their environment—all of which can temporarily affect their sleep. Instead of viewing these changes as a problem, they can be reframed as a natural part of infancy.
However, when parents hear the term “sleep regression,” they may brace themselves for inevitable disruption, leading to increased anxiety and hypervigilance around their baby’s sleep particularly ahead of stages where they have heard sleep “may” become impacted. I say “may” because it is important to remember that every baby is truly different and they don’t follow a handbook. Nevertheless, parents might start tracking every nap, analyzing wake windows obsessively, or worrying that they’re doing something wrong. This heightened focus can actually make sleep challenges feel more overwhelming than they need to be. In addition, you miss out on getting to know your baby and what will work for them and just as importantly, you.
The Self-Fulfilling Cycle of Sleep Anxiety
Parental stress over sleep can inadvertently contribute to more sleep difficulties. Babies are highly attuned to their caregivers' emotions, and if a parent is anxious about sleep, a baby may pick up on this energy. Increased stress can lead to more intervention, such as excessive rocking, shushing, or unnecessary sleep training, which may disrupt a baby’s natural sleep rhythms rather than support them.
Moreover, when parents are convinced their baby is in a “regression,” they may respond differently—perhaps with frustration, hopelessness, or overcorrection—rather than tuning into their baby’s individual needs in the moment. Parents may even cancel their own plans as a way to cope with what is again a normal stage in infancy. This mindset shift can make sleep feel like an ongoing battle rather than a fluid, evolving process.
A More Supportive Perspective on Infant Sleep
Instead of focusing on “regressions,” parents might find it more helpful to view sleep as a dynamic process that ebbs and flows. Here are a few ways to reframe sleep changes:
Expect and accept changes: Sleep is not linear. Just like adults have nights of poor sleep, babies do too. Recognizing that fluctuations are normal can ease stress.
Follow your baby’s cues: Rather than adhering to rigid schedules or sleep training methods, tuning into your baby’s signals can help create a more responsive and less stressful sleep environment. By doing so, you get to know your baby even more and learn what they need rather than what the internet or an app is suggesting.
Focus on connection, not control: Sleep isn’t something to “fix” but rather something to support. Prioritizing comfort, responsiveness, and emotional security can help babies navigate changes with more ease.
Trust your instincts: Each baby is different. While general sleep patterns exist, your baby’s needs and temperament will play a significant role in their sleep journey.
Letting Go of the Sleep Regression Narrative
Rather than seeing sleep regressions as a problem to solve, consider viewing them as a reflection of growth and development. By stepping away from rigid labels and expectations, parents can approach sleep with more confidence and less anxiety, ultimately fostering a more relaxed and connected experience for both themselves and their baby.
Sleep will always have its ups and downs, but by shifting the focus from “regressions” to something that is normal and adaptive, parents can embrace the journey with greater ease and trust in their own ability and most importantly intuition to support their baby’s evolving needs.
If you are interested in learning more about how to change your views and relationship with sleep, whether it’s connected to your baby’s or yours, click here to book a free consultation today.
