Guest Blog: An Interview with an Infertility and Pregnancy Loss Therapist
Introduction:
We’re doing another guest blog this week - featuring an interview with our own Nicole Dutchak at Mountain Brow Counselling. In this blog article, I have asked a series of questions of Nicole to help us get to know her better and how she practices as a Registered Social Worker and Psychotherapist in Hamilton, Ontario.
Nicole has been a practicing social worker for 17 years now (sharing that makes her feel OLD!). She has worked in a variety of settings (hospital, community, primary care), but the majority of that time has been focused on mental health. Her goal is to create a safe, inclusive space for her clients where they feel seen and heard. On a more personal note, she married her high school sweetheart and together they have two young daughters and a dog. In her spare time, Nicole enjoys cooking, baking, and reading. She loves a good mani/pedi and may be slightly addicted to reality TV :) Keep reading to learn more about Nicole.
Why did you decide to become a therapist and specifically why perinatal mental health with a focus on infertility and pregnancy loss? What’s your favourite part about your role?
I’ve known that I wanted to be a social worker since I was in high school. It was also a goal of mine to get my MSW and go into private practice at some point. Pregnancy, birth, and maternal health has also been an interest of mine for as long as I can remember - if I hadn’t become a social worker, I probably would have gone into midwifery!
I chose to focus my practice on infertility and pregnancy loss after experiencing them myself. My husband and I experienced a number of miscarriages as well as several rounds of fertility treatments before welcoming each of our daughters. Anyone who has experienced infertility and/or pregnancy loss knows that it changes you. I was lucky to have amazing support from a birth and postpartum Doula who not only cared for us after welcoming both of our daughters, but also helped me to work through the trauma I had experienced. Now that we are on the other side of our fertility journey, I knew I wanted to combine my lived experience with my professional expertise to support clients who are experiencing similar challenges.
What type of goals do you support clients with? How does your approach or style differ from another?
I support clients with a wide range of goals. It could be anything from adjusting to life as a new mom to processing the trauma of a pregnancy loss. I think it’s also important to point out that it doesn’t have to be perinatal concerns! While I specialize in perinatal mental health, I am more than happy to support clients in other areas as well as I am trained in a variety of mental health challenges and modalities.
I like to tailor my approach for each individual client. I don’t go into sessions with a specific agenda - I want to hear from my clients in terms of what they need and what would be helpful. I consider it a privilege to have the opportunity to work as a therapist and support my clients as they navigate life’s challenges.
How would someone know that they should book an appointment with you? What would you say to someone who is hesitant but struggling with their mental health and wellbeing?
I think booking a complimentary telephone consultation is a great way to see if we are a good fit. It’s a great opportunity to get to know each other a bit, talk about pain points, goals, and expectations for therapy. In my experience, booking that first appointment is often the hardest part. My goal is to make my clients feel comfortable and at ease throughout the entire process. It can be scary to open up and be vulnerable, but our mental health deserves just as much time and attention as our physical health!
What are some immediate tools or steps a woman could start today if she was struggling with infertility and/or pregnancy loss?
Self-care and support! Both experiences can be all-consuming. It is so important to make time for yourself to do things that bring you joy, help you relax and allow you to focus on something other than infertility or loss. I found it so helpful to take my dog for a walk, go to a Pilates class, or try a new recipe. Having a support network is also invaluable. Whether that’s a partner, friends, or more formal support like participating in therapy, it can be so helpful to have someone to talk to and lean on. It was so helpful to talk about what I was going through and how I was feeling. Emotions are always better out than in!
Are there any specific mantras or coping statements you’d like to share for a woman currently struggling with infertility or pregnancy loss?
While I was trying to conceive my eldest daughter, a friend gave me a beautiful watercolour painting with a lovely quote on it that read, “Even Miracles Take a Little Time.” It was a beautiful reminder to be patient and it has stuck with me. Fun fact- the quote is actually from the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella!
What is your favourite form of self-care? How do you manage to prioritize yourself while also having a young family?
My self-care routine can be as simple as taking my full lunch break at work or lighting a candle in the evening after my girls are in bed. I think it’s important to be flexible with self-care - it’s not all or nothing! I fit it in where I can. Some weeks, I can squeeze in a mani/pedi. Other weeks, I only have time for a quick walk around the block or reading a page or two of my book.
If someone was interested in learning more about your practice and how you can support them, what should they do next?
Check out our website or Instagram page for more detailed information. I would also love to chat with you, book your complimentary telephone consultation at any time you feel ready. You are also welcome to reach out by email nicole@mountainbrowcounselling.com.
